well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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