They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
