im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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