He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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