i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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