A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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