in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
