3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
