Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize