Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
