i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
