you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
