i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
