I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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