We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
