dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
