I should be sponsored by Trojan
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
