you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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