Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
