Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
