On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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