My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize