I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
