just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
