She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I am one with the molecules
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
