She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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