You're a womanizer and a bitch.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
