when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
