He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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