Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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