Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
