No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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