Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
They took my balls.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
