please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
