Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
