he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
