Soap is not a condiment
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
