Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize