woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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