So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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