I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
