I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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