I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
