id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
