College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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