So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
