why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize