Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize