There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
