the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
