My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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