come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish you could order shots online.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
