why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
