if i can run in heels then i can drive
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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