I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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