Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
